Bathtime is generally something that Craig oversees (mommy has too many rules for bathtime to be very fun), but sometimes I have to point out to Craig when the kids start to smell. At the same time, I don’t want to be bossy, so I try to ask him if he can give the kids a bath rather than tell him he needs to. But, if I say the word “bath” in front of the kids, they’re in the bathroom, naked, with the water running before I can utter another syllable.  Spelling is not good either, because the kids know that if I am spelling something, important stuff is going down, and they pay more attention.  So, I try to speak in code.  Sometimes I do a better job than others.  Tonight, for example.

Me: (after admiring the layers of dirt, dinner, and chocolate milk smattered across Callen’s face) Daddy, would you be interested in giving the kids, a, uh…

Carina: a mekoglony? (Carina likes to make up her own words)

Me: Yes, a mekoglony. (raising eyebrows questioningly at Craig)

Craig: A what? (possibly feigning ignorance, but very possibly not sure what we girls are talking about)

Me: An athbay. (although I know I am alone in my pig latin speaking skills)

Craig: What?  I have no idea what you mean.

Sweet Victory

Me: Will you please launder our offspring?

Craig:  I don’t understand. (now obviously faking inhibited vocabulary skills)

Me: Get a clue, Daddy!

I roll my eyes at Craig, and there’s a slight pause as we all chew our dinner.

Carina:  Daddy, I think what mommy is trying to say is that she wants you to give us a bath.

Craig and I:  Cracking up laughing (me more than him, because now he’s stuck)

Me: Carina, how do you know that is what I was saying?

Carina: Cause I got a clue!

More uproarous laughter

Me: And what was your clue?

Carina: You said launder, like WASHING us like laundry! So, let’s go, Daddy!

It’s so much fun to have smart, funny kids.  Who are now clean.