A couple weeks ago:

Carina  overheard me joking with my friend Meredith on the phone.  “You did not listen to me, so I’m not going to listen to you, ” I had told her.  After I got off the phone, this conversation took place:

C: Mom, did Miss Meredith not listen to you?

Me: No, Carina.  She didn’t.

C: Why not?

Me: Because no one ever listens to me, Carina.  (with mock self-pity)

C: Well, people listen to me, mommy.

Me:  How do you get people to listen to you, Carina?

C: (with no pause) I make them laugh, and then they listen to me.

Me: Wow. That’s a great way to do it.

C:  Yeah, you should try it, mommy.



Callen was sitting next to me on the couch.  I was closer to the glass of water than he was.

C: I want some water.

Me:  What?

C: (louder) I want some water now.

Me: That’s not how you ask.  Can you say the magic word?

C: OK!  Abra-cadabra! make mommy disappear to the haircut!  ZZZZAAP!

Me:  Alright, here’s the water. (trying not to lose it when catching sight of Craig cracking up on the other couch)

C:  (takes a large gulp) MMMMmmm.  DEEwishous.